This was not meant to be.
I had resigned myself to my fate and grown happy in its empty company, secure that its cruel hand would never break the ice of my heart.
Empty promises and ill-chosen words that rambled with such bad intention, had long since fallen on deaf ears – too punctured to listen – too bruised to care.
Kisses and caresses were as easily acted as hollow smiles, that protected insecurity, and feigned arrogance in fear.
My life became a journey of solitude down an unlit pathway with no horizon.
Never needed to look beside me for companionship.
Never wanted to look back.
And doors remained safely locked.
Nothing asked to come in,
Nothing left to come out.
An empty room suffocating on the stale air of abandoned dreams.
How was it, then, that springtime filtered into my heart and chased away the shadows of my haunted past?
When did light pour through the broken windows of my soul and find me cowering under its gentle gaze?
Who gave you permission, key holder, to stand before me demanding nothing, but promising everything in return?
What sent you to fill my mind with hopeful possibilities, when I have fought and defeated them for so long…
Do I dare to love again?
Will your light take the very all of me and lead me from these troubled seas to calm waters,
Or will you abandon me on the rocks of repeating history, and leave as I am ruined once more?
Want to run from you,
hide my eyes from your beauty,
Lock my heart away where you can’t touch it –
– But it is too late.
I cannot sleep for dreaming of you.”